I am sitting here sipping cold coffee because, like every morning, I forget that I have poured a cup and am too lazy to put it in the microwave. Emilee is swinging away in lala land and Connor is immersed in his Ipad, much like he was at 10:30 last night. #parentingfail.
There are some days I sit down and wonder what I am doing wrong as a parent and compare myself to others. I mean, "so and so" doesn't have a two year old and a three month old with weekly therapy appointments. And "so and so" gets to go to work so their children get to get out of the house more than once a week. And "so and so" has a back yard so their kids and dogs can run freely anytime they want. But what "so and so" doesn't have never crosses my mind. Until yesterday.
Most of the "so and so's" do not have a baby with down syndrome. This, at first, was another one of those "so and so" has a normal child and we don't. But, let me say- today I relish in the fact that my daughter was born with an extra chromosome and yes, she does rock it.
Her smile is contagious, her laugh is adorable and every...single...milestone she hits makes my heart swell with pride and admiration. Connor's infancy was a blur to be perfectly honest. I was sleep deprived and each milestone he hit I quickly took a picture and moved on. With Emilee things are different for two reasons. One, she is our last and taking the time to enjoy the milestones WITH Daddy has been a blessing. Two, it is very typical with DS to have a delay in milestones like rolling over and sitting up and crawling and walking. I video tape her all the time and thankfully the day I was getting her to blow bubbles was also the same time she rolled onto her side for the first time. That night she then rolled over from her belly to her back... TWICE! (Now, Miss Stubborn has not done it again since).
I was reading a blog from another parent with a son who has Down Syndrome. He brought up the fact that 1 in 10 babies with Down Syndrome do not make it out of the womb for various reasons. The main being abortion. A few people have asked us if we knew before Emilee was born that she was going to have DS. No. We declined the testing. Why? We are worriers. I worried the entire pregnancy that something bad was going to happen with the perception that she was "typically developing", had we known she was going to be born with DS, I think we would have driven ourselves absolutely nuts with anxiety. Now, I will admit, having a heads up would have been nice considering the traumatic post-birth events. I mean, no one wants their baby to be taken away for 4+ hours with NO word on when they are returning them or why she couldn't keep her temp up. We knew she was in good hands but it was the most anxiety provoking thing I have every been through and to this day, I still get emotional thinking about those precious first hours where I couldn't hold or snuggle my newborn. But, no, we did not find out and we did not care because NOTHING would keep me from carrying this beautiful baby to full term-- or at least until she was ready to enter the world.
Now let me bring this back to my point of being a "bad parent". Do we spend too much time on our electronic devices, yes. Do we let our two year old watch too much television, yes. Do we curse, yes (I mean daddy and grandad are sailors....). Do we give our child sugar and juice and let him pick out a different dinner than what I made, yes. But, with all the bad parent things we are also "good parents". Do we fight in front of our child, no. Do we take them on trips to the mall or the zoo or the aquarium, yes. Do we provide them with the tools necessary to live a happy and successful life, yes.
I think every parent finds a balance of what works best for them. A balance of good parenting and bad parenting. But, I know we can all use some improvement. I could put my phone down more often, but I would miss the moments I capture on camera. I could take the kids out of the house more but at the cost of my sanity to keep them both under control and acting like they should in public.
I think as a parent, finding a balance and perspective is what it is all about. That and loving our children unconditionally, even if they just spilled their red juice all over the light green couch........
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